The Best Dad Jokes for This Father’s Day

Dad jokes! Those groan-worthy, pun-filled masterpieces that leave us all rolling our eyes.

What is a Dad joke? What makes it so effective? To me, the great Dad joke has to purposefully elicit groans and cringes. The power of the joke isn’t the humor, it’s in the mild humiliation bestowed upon the listeners.

This Father’s Day, why not give Dad a taste of his own medicine (we’re not talking lipitor), with a slate of the lamest, cheesiest Dad jokes the internet could dredge up?

So much cheese

Here’s our roundup of the best-worst Dad jokes of all time (you’re welcome). Be sure to deploy at dinner parties, weddings, retirement ceremonies, birthday cards, or anywhere where your Dad may groan.

The Best Dad Jokes for This Father’s Day

 

10. What’s brown and sticky? A stick!

Whoo-boy. That’s a zinger. Get it? Because a stick is sticky … but not like that, but like a stick! Ya see! Wow! Zing.

Also, note that explaining the dad joke only makes it stronger. This only applies to Dad jokes. Not to actually good jokes. Again, the point of a Dad joke isn’t to make just anyone laugh—just Dad.

9. What did the fisherman say to the magician? Pick a cod, any cod!

Ooof. That one’s a bad dad joke. Hot take: there is no such thing as a bad dad joke.

8. How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it!

Rodney Dangerfield must be rolling in his grave.

7. It takes guts to be an organ donor.

While this is a very funny dad joke, we have to point out that this is technically not true. It takes guts. It takes lungs. It takes eyes. It takes heart. It takes any of those. Consider being an organ donor today!

6. I wouldn’t buy anything with velcro. It’s a total rip-off!

Don’t blame us for ripping off these hilarious dads-turned-comedians. Just like great eggs, they go over easy.

Yikes I know. I’m not a Dad yet. They’ll get worse, I promise.

5. What do you call a man with a rubber toe? Roberto?

Whoo boy! That’s a toe-slapper.

4. Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees? Because they’re so good at it!

This is also why we’ve never found Big Foot. World champ at Hide-and-seek!

3. How do lawyers say goodbye? We’ll be suing ya!

Hope we aren’t sued for stealing this joke!

2. Do you think glass coffins will be a success? Remains to be seen!

That one slays me!

1. Wanna hear a joke about paper? It’s tearable!

It’s hard to rank those jokes, because, in our professional opinion, all Dad jokes are tearable (har har). They can’t be good, otherwise they can’t be dad jokes.

The best dad joke is a bad dad joke. A funny dad joke is really only funny to one (Dad).

So, hopefully, you can use a few of our zingers to give Dad a taste of his own medicine, and maybe get a chuckle or two in turn.